i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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