i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
