She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
