On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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