a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
