so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
