well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
