this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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