dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
