I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
