I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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