so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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