how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
