I am midnight drunk by noon
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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