I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Success! We fucked roommates!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
