Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
