I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
