I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Found the puke drawer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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