its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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