I accidentally had phone sex last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
