dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
