Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Terrible idea I love it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
