He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
