you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
