I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
