Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm both gender and math confused
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
