My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
