we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
