I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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