you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
