She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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