Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
