i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
