Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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