A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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