it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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