Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize