i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
