need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
