Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
