Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
