That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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