The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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