I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
