alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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