No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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