Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
