hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
