Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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