Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
