That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
