that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
