Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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