Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Green mimosas i think yes
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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