I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
