he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
People in love make me want to vomit
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
