The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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