One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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