yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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