i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
