She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
