9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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